Category: community news

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community news

A Divided Democracy: We Need Couple’s Therapy

If you’ve read our previous posts, you’re probably already aware that we made our short film RSVP with the hopes to tell a story that bridges a gap between two groups that often have a huge rift separating them. Ryan and I could be called ‘amateur-compulsive-peace-makers”. The impulse is genuine, but not always entirely practical. And now faced with the most extreme rift in our modern day American democracy, well, at least in my lifetime, we’re having to manage the desire to “fix everything!! all at once!!”, and also the desire to “hide far-far away” and hope that four years from now, there will still be a democracy left that we can rejuvenate after the Trump era blows over.

The Goldilocks answer between these two impulses seems to be: Invest in the long haul incremental change in how we handle “partisanship” in our day to day interactions. What does that translate to, exactly? Patience, Empathy, Communication, Humor, and Compromise. In other words, approach our two party system the way we would approach a healthy and thriving marriage.

Ryan and I learned early on in our marriage that if we ever made the mistake of thinking of each other as being on opposite sides, it would mean the downfall of our marriage. Even if we disagree, or have been hurt by a misunderstanding or mistake, we have to always remind ourselves that we are both members of the same team. And I think we as Democrats and Republicans could really use that approach right about now. But, we may need some serious couples therapy. Because, America, we’ve been through some sh*t, and it looks like we’re in for a bumpy ride.

So, during a time when our divisions appear almost insurmountable, we’re all being called to examine how we can bridge the gap between vehement ideologies, and find a middle ground that supports the equality, dignity, and prosperity of all people.

This middle ground can be fostered by dissolving the barrier of our ego’s need to “always be right”. This need only hinders our ability to truly hear one another. The first step is to recognize the truth in someone else’s experience. Then, to the best of your ability, explain the truth of our own experience with clarity and compassion. This process is meant to address deeply help subconscious patterns that may be causing pain and handicapping our relationship. When these patterns of hurt remain, and are rejected as “not real” or “not worthy of attention”, then poisonous resentments can manifest. But in contrast, when two people succeed in objective self-examination, listening, and equal compromise, they are each able to identify how each of them have an opportunity to grow and deepen their bonds of commonality. This is when unified progress can occur. Is it just me or could the U.S.A. really use some unified progress?

It has struck me how much our two-party political process in the United States now resembles a painfully unhealthy marriage. I would love to explore this, by observing people on either sides of the political spectrum, and how they interact with one another. Ideally, I’d love to take a documentary crew across the nation, plus a talented marriage counselor, and conduct several intensive “political counseling sessions” between two people on opposite side of the political spectrum.

They would be two strangers who likely have mistaken preconceptions about one-another; along with deeply held hurts, fear and guilt. I’d like to have the therapist guide them on a mutual journey of discovery, recognition, and growth. Their guide would be an objective, moderate, and wise marriage counselor who is dedicated to respectful communication and the pursuit of truthful revelation. Revelation! I seriously want nationwide revelations of unity! ….Is that too much to ask? Probably.

But at the very least a documentary like this could serve as a case study for diverse audiences to learn how to better communicate with one another, particularly those who hold differing views. And hopefully help eradicate all the latent destructive patterns that are at play in our political discourse. Better yet, we could reveal and reinforce the commonalities and ideals that we still share and strive to maintain in our democratic society.

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community news

‘Stamping’ Out North Carolina’s HB2 at The Wild Goose Festival

BeeNest Films teamed up with Evangelicals for Social Action to stage a “Stamp Your Cash” demonstration at the progressive faith festival, the Wild Goose Festival in Hot Springs, North Carolina in order to speak out against HB2.

The festival had been held in the same spot for the past six years, so when North Carolina passed HB2 it came as a real blow to the organizers of the festival who are morally opposed to the bill and its latent bigotry. So when I was invited to attend the festival by ESA in order to participate in a Racial Justice Institute Workshop they were hosting with the Faith Matters Network, I started thinking about how there could be some way to bring money into the state of North Carolina and make it express my opposition to HB2.

That is when I thought of where the Stamped Film Festival in my hometown of Pensacola, Florida got their name from:

Back in the 90’s, the gulf coast was a Mecca for the LGBTQ community over the Memorial Day weekend for Pride. Thousands of people would gather and celebrate on our beautiful beaches, but there were some squeaky wheels that did not like the influx of gay people coming into the area. In response to these complaints the organizers of the Pride festivities began stamping all of the cash that was generated with phrases like “Gay Money”. By the end the end of the year it was estimated that the LGBTQ community infused nearly 25 million dollars in the local economy. Interestingly enough, those squeaky wheels got a lot more quiet from that point on. 😉

Our objective was a bit different, but what we were hoping to do was give an outlet for this community of faithful people, most of whom identify as Christian, to not only speak out against HB2, but to also address the deeply troubling use of Christianity to support such a bill. Our stamps featured phrases like “Christians Against NC’s HB2” and “#WeAreNotThis”.

Chances are, if Jesus had a twitter account, he’d be hashtagging #WeAreNotThis a whole lot lately.

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Stamping cash in North Carolina in order to Speak Out Against HB2

The response was fantastic! Festival goers pulling out their wads of bills and going to town with our provided stamps – And at the end of the festival, I went around to the vendors and gave each of them a stamp to keep and continue to use and mark all their bills. It was clear that people were very excited to have an opportunity to take back the narrative in some small way.

This brings me to what I found incredibly impactful about attending the Wild Goose Festival – Reclaiming the Narrative of Faith.

I’m going to be honest, the word “christian” has been allowed to take on such a negative and destructive connotation that describing myself as one has felt like a misnomer. I know many, if not most of my friends who were raised in a christian household, have now evolved into usually only feeling comfortable with describing themselves as “Spiritual” or as “a follower of Jesus, but not necessarily ‘a christian’”.

The Wild Goose Festival allowed me to rediscover how the spirit is flourishing beyond oppressive definitions and constraints, and also within the body of the Church. It may not be the part of the body that gets the most press, or has the most lobbyists in DC, but it’s heart beats with radical love that values diversity and the oppressed. It is the part of the body that strives to embody the love of Christ in every moment and with every person, and to recognize the spirit in all things. It is the part of the body determined to self-examine and expand through the scientific exploration of this universe; to grow in understanding and appreciation of the uniqueness of others. It is the part of the body that inspires me to reclaim and celebrate my faith heritage.

If this speaks to any of you, if you have ever felt disenfranchised by your faith community, I highly recommend attending next year’s Wild Goose Festival.  Ryan and I will see you there 🙂

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community news RSVP

Processing in the Wake of Hate

I remember picking out my outfit as I prepared to go out for a night of dancing with friends at The Pulse. I knew I could tease the outer boundaries of whatever fashion forward, thrift store finds I felt inspired to put together, because I knew I was going somewhere where acceptance and freedom of expression were celebrated. I knew that no matter how avant garde or “costume-y” I might have appeared for Central Florida, there would be someone there who would “looooooove my look”. I knew I would be joined on the dance floor by other people who would be right in step with my emotive interpretive dancing. Being different was cool. Owning it was even cooler. This was a safe place.

That evening ended with early morning greasy food and two ibuprofen. Now, years later, I wake up in Philadelphia and shudder at the realization that for so many people, their night, which had begun in such a similar way, ended in horrifying contrast. The refuge had been shattered, along with the lives of innumerable lovers, friends, family, and a community as a whole

We learned of the attack from Ryan’s sister, Rachael, who still lives Orlando with her partner, Amy. Rachael works in the surgical unit at Orlando Health Hospital which treated the majority of the patients that morning and in the days to follow. I stared into the eyes of the victims as they glided through my Facebook news feed, comforted only by a flood of messages saying, “So and So was marked Safe in Orlando.” I don’t express my gratitude for social media very often. This would be a profound exception.

Waves of tears would hit. Crashing upon me unexpectedly, as if I had turned my back on the sea; having become distracted by something glimmering in the dunes.

Safety has always been a highly sought after and elusive luxury for the LGBTQ community. I can related to this on certain levels as a straight woman. The freedom that comes with not fearing that someone may want to harm you, or take something from you, simply because of how you were born. And the rooted feeling that comes from knowing that you are valued, not as an object, but as a human being endowed with worth, grace, and wisdom. You are not an object that must withstand the projections of someone else’s frustrations with the world.

And the more I meditate on this, the more it’s revealed to me that we all, every gender, race religion, orientation, and ideology are suffering from this systemic virus of de-humanization. Some groups inarguably sufferer exponentially more that others. The LGBTQ community, in it’s all encompassing diversity, receives a good portion of the weight of this burden. Why?

What are they asking for that seems so impossible to respect?
The freedom to be themselves.
The ability to live full and open lives with the people they love.
Safety.
In other words: basic human rights.

My goal as a storyteller, and BeeNest Films’ goal as an agent of opening hearts and minds, has been attempting to do what we can to help further the progress and affirmation of the LGBTQ community. In particular, imploring faith communities to recognize how some of its rhetoric has planted seeds in society that lead to the horrific violent fruits of dehumanization we witnessed in Orlando on the morning of June 12, 2016.

As the aftershocks ripple outward, and blame casts it shadow within the hearts of so many, I feel more and more convinced that there is no “one” group to blame. As I begin to trace the connections between so many targeted and oppressed groups, and the motivations that lead to the overwhelming expressions of violence and discord in our world, it seems more and more apparent that the only singular guilty party, is the anger, hatred, and disgust that manifests itself, via many deceptive forms, in all of our hearts. It is the enemy.

There is no person, party, race or religion that is the source of the problem. There is just the same shape-shifting, insidious hatred that infiltrates all parties involved.

Imagine if a group of communities became infected with a parasitic virus: As victims become more ill and succumbed to the sickness, we don’t blame them or their families for getting sick. But their is a respect for the health of the community that is expected from those who are ill. We hold ourselves to a standard: that you remain vigilant and that you won’t knowingly go around putting other people in danger.

Now replace this virus with hatred and thoughts of superiority. When we become aware that we’ve become “infected”, our first priority should be to heal ourselves.We’ll each need to do the hard work needed to diagnose and treat these thoughts and impulses. Why? To save the community? Sure. But first things first, YOU have to get well. Otherwise, it is you who is going to be lost, and next thing you know you could be the one out there infecting your loved ones and the community with the “Superiority virus” or the ”Hatred Virus”.

And like with any sickness, it tends to start with small almost imperceptible symptoms: laughing at someone else’s expense ( hi! Guilty here!), being indifferent to someone else’s pain, criticizing someone’s differences, etc.

But watch out! Once we find ourselves in a full blown outbreak, as it would appear we are in right now, it can be really hard to stay vigilant and not allow our own hearts to become infected.

Here’s the thing, if someone caught in your face, or spat in your eye, you are most likely going to have to battle and infection. Don’t be upset with yourself. Someone spat in you eye! Feeling of anger will be natural But if you catch it early and really take care of yourself, you can fight it off! And guess what!? You’ll have some pretty effective antibodies developed to help you stay immune to the next viral attack. A virus that cannot find new hosts, eventually go dormant. THIS is the power of love Audra Day speaks of before performing her moving song RISE UP.

It is the immune system for our souls, hard at work, healing and protecting us. As we heal and protect ourselves with love, we further the healing and protection of our entire society.
Every. Little. Bit. Counts.